The last ten nights,

When Ramadhan began I have to admit to having more goals than the ones I've managed to accomplish. But sometimes you just have to give in and settle for less. I'm not even using that first list of goals as a marker for what I've managed to accomplish this ramadhan, and in the end my goals were whittled right down to just three.

• to spend more time reading my Qur'an...
• to establish nawafil salat...
• and to break my dastardly nafs...

I realised I would never be able to finish my Qur'an this ramadhan..the workload has just been a bit too intense. But my focus has shifted and now I make time to read masha'allah.

The nawafil has been easier to establish than I thought it would be. Taraweeh and Tahajjud in the masjid have fostered a deeper love for praying and I'm hoping that eventualy it will have a knock on effect on my concentration. Already the mind tends to wander less, khushoo is such an elusive treasure.

My nafs has been the hardest element to deal with. but all of this is a work in progress and when Ramadhan is over the work on refining our characters and coming closer to Allah will need to continue. This year more than any other I have become intensely aware of the aspects of myself that I am least happy with and need to change.

Qiyyam has been a blessed experience. Exhausting though, both mentally and physically. I can't describe the pain and tiredness we're feeling. We hear it now even in the recitation of our shuyook in the early hours of the morning... the tone is more subdued and the voices huskier than before, and so charged with emotion that we are moved to tears. Prayer can be such a humbling experience.

We only have a few nights of Qiyyam left. I'm savouring every early morning journey to the masjid, using the time before salat to read my Qur'an, and the time after for adhkar. I some changes in myself already...but not enough. We're getting such little sleep at the moment that it's making us more sensitive to everything around us. and I'm trying to use it positively. I don't always succeed of course... but I'm always drawn back
to the quote that "Islam is a state of becoming not a state of being".

And I have been reminded through all of this, that this is (in part) was what my hijrah was all about. Seeking nearness to Allah ta'ala. This has been the antidote I've needed to the intense homesickness I was feeling in the past couple of weeks. I feel exhausted but content, alhamdulillah.

How has your ramadhan experience changed you this year?
Has it been different from previous years?
I'd love to hear some of your ramadhan experiences insha'allah..

The last ten days, a personal journey

The last ten days of Ramadhan are here, and all too soon our beloved month of fasting will be over for another year. For me Ramadhan normally passes in the same way, with LOTS of cooking and some Ibadah thrown in wherever I can fit it. This year has been no different, however this year for the first time I've been able to attend Taraweeh Salat at our masjid.

Taraweeh in the masjid was never really an option in the UK, but finally I'm living in a muslim country and our masjid is literally on our doorstep.

We set out at a little after 2am, it was so calm. There were small groups of people everywhere, either waiting outside or waling their way slowly to pray qiyyam.

We were early of course, in our excitement to pray Qiyyam we left with more than enough time to take our place in the front row of the womens Gallery. It was so beautiful watching our lovely masjid slowly filling up with quiet, sleepy muslims all wanting to pray, to give their thaks to Allah and to make dua.

I can't do justice with words how it feels to pray Qiyyam. To pray Qiyyam is a serene enough experience in itself, to pray in congregation and to share the emotion of standing and bowing and prostrating is so spiritually uplifting it moved almost all of the women around me to tears.

Ramadhan is nearly over, and many of us will be asking ourselves if we used our time wisely enough, if we made enough progress, if we were sincere enough in our worship.
Last Ramadhan our sheikh told us that "anyone of us who enters the month of ramadhan and leaves it with the same bad character traits we went in with had wasted their Ramadhan".
There is still time. The most Important days of this beautiful month are now with us and we need to grasp them tight and make the very best of the time we have left.

My month of fasting hasn't been perfect, I look back at the twenty days just gone and already wish I could have done some things differently.
 What I'm looking forward to now are using the last ten days as a catalyst for change, a way of renewing my relationship witrh Allah and the Quran. To nourish my eeman and increase my knowledge.

Last night was my first night of Qiyyam... in a few short hours I hope insha'allah I'll be fortunate enough to join those on their way to pray another night of Qiyyam for the sake of Allah ta'ala. I want to weep with my sisters for His sake. I want to find the peace and serenity that every person craves and which can only be achieved by the grace of Allah ta'ala.

Ya Rabb forgive us and bless us with goodness in the Dunya and Akhira, ameen

Ramadhan: Getting Started

With a fresh new month of  fasting having only just begun, our attention naturally turns to matters of faith and how best to achieve the pleasure of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 

Muslim women accross the ummah will be focusing their thoughts on preparing themselves, their families and their homes for a month dedicated to bettering relationships, not only with their creator but also with their loved ones and wider community, be it muslim or non-muslim insha'allah.

We want this Ramadhan to be the first step towards change, not just for ourselves but for as many sisters as we can motivate to join our quest for inner peace and and a greater connection to Allah and one another.

We all know that Ramadhan for a woman can start with the best of intentions and quickly deteriorate to nothing more than a feedathon spent largely in the kitchen with no time left to nourish the Eeman, which is why we want this year to be a catalyst for change. A step forward out of the kitchen, away from the shorba pot and towards a more enriching and enlightening experience.
So in the remaining days of this beautiful month we'll be bringing you a series of articles designed to help you gain the most from this years Ramadhan experience.

We know it's not possible to abandon the kitchen completely, and we recognise that there is great reward in feeding the fasting person, but we want to help find the balance that will hopefully create the opportunity for our sisters to find as much fufilment out of their Ramadhan as our brothers seem to.
 
So please join us, for the whole of the month of ramdhan (and insha'allah beyond) for hints and tips and creative features to help you live this wonderful month to it's fullest insha'allah.